Finding what to say: one main point, stories and facts you have checked
Find one main point you can say in a sentence, gather stories from the people who know, keep the two or three that carry the point, and check every fact and every name.
- Start here: the essentials
- One main point, in one sentence
- Gathering stories, details and facts
- Choosing what to keep and what to cut
- Checking facts, titles and how someone wants to be addressed
- Names: say them the way their owners do
- See it: Amara's five stories and Howard's guest
- Practice: find the point and check the names
- Your talk
- Check your work
- Knowledge check and scenario
Start here Essentials
A short talk needs one thing to say, a few true things that show it, and names you can say correctly. Four steps get you there for a toast of two minutes or a few lines of introduction.
- Write the main point in one sentence. If it takes two, keep narrowing (one main point).
- List three stories or facts that show it, and who told you each. Ask people by message or call (gathering).
- Choose the one or two that fit your time. Cut what is private, what only a few people would understand and what would embarrass the person (choosing).
- Write every name you will say, and check how its owner says it. Ask the person, and write it so you can read it aloud (names).
Minimum time: about 30 minutes, plus waiting for replies. Done when: the plan sheet has a one-sentence main point and the names sheet has every name with its pronunciation checked.
One main point, in one sentence Understand
The main point is the one thing you want the room to remember when you sit down. Hamilton College's Oral Communication Center gives a test for it: if you cannot state the main point of your presentation in one sentence, you are probably not focused enough (Shortening a Speech, Hamilton College). Convention The test is simple on purpose. A talk with two points splits the room's attention, and a talk with none leaves them with a pleasant feeling and nothing to carry. Ruth's granddaughter's toast has one: "Ruth taught every grandchild to cook one dish, and none of us can make it like she does." A listener can repeat that sentence at the door.
The same idea appears in other fields. The CDC's Clear Communication Index, a scoring sheet for written health materials, asks whether the material has one main message, "the one thing the audience must remember," and whether it comes first (CDC Clear Communication Index score sheet). The index was designed for written health material, so applying it to a spoken talk is our inference. We use it only as a second way to state the same test.
From a general purpose to this audience
Speaking textbooks start with a general purpose: a broad aim such as to inform, to persuade, to celebrate or to remember. A specific purpose narrows it to what this talk will do for this audience: not "celebrate Ruth," but "remind her family why her cooking mattered to each of us." Stand Up, Speak Out, an open textbook, describes the move from a general to a specific purpose in its section on specific purposes (Specific Purposes). Convention The occasion usually gives the general purpose. A toast celebrates, a tribute remembers, a report informs. You supply the specific one.
Try this sentence frame, which is ours, not the textbook's: "I want [these people] to [leave knowing, feeling or doing one thing]." For Lena's toast: "I want Ruth's family to leave knowing how much of her is in the way we each cook." If you cannot fill in the people, go back to Saying yes and ask who will be there.
The main point is not the topic. "Ruth's cooking" is a topic. "Ruth taught every grandchild to cook one dish" is a point, because a listener could agree, picture it or add to it. When a sentence works as a headline for a short story, it is probably a point.
Write the sentence on the plan sheet. You can change it later, but write it now: every story you gather, keep or cut is judged against it. A story that is wonderful but proves a different point is not wasted. It goes in the maybe column, and it may belong in another talk.
Gathering stories, details and facts
For a talk about a person, you are not the only source. The Remembering A Life guide, published for the National Funeral Directors Association, advises gathering family and friends, in person or by video call, email or phone, to collect stories, and noting who told which story (How to Write and Deliver a Eulogy). Convention The guide is about eulogies, but the method works for a toast, a retirement tribute or an introduction: other people remember what you did not see.
Write the person who told you each story beside it. That note does two jobs. It lets you ask the same person a follow-up question ("What month was that?"). And it tells you whom to ask when you wonder whether a story is safe to tell.
What to ask for
The University of Victoria's continuing studies course on tribute writing describes what good tributes use: descriptors that are specific, quotes, details and anecdotes, and not clichés and vague generalities (Here's to You! Tribute Writing for All Occasions). We cite that page only for what its description covers, not for any result. "He was generous" is a general claim. "He left a bag of tomatoes on every neighbor's step each August" is a detail. Ask people for details, and ask what they saw and heard: a phrase the person used, a place, a thing they did with their hands.
A NorthShore University HealthSystem hospice newsletter on eulogies advises against summarizing the whole life, and suggests offering snapshots instead (How to write a eulogy, NorthShore hospice). A snapshot is one moment, told in a few sentences, that shows a quality. The same advice fits a two-minute toast. You do not have time for a life. You have time for one picture.
Here is a short message you can send. Edit it to your occasion.
Hi Kofi, I'm speaking at Dad's service and I'd like to tell one or two stories that people who knew him would recognize. Could you send me a moment you remember, in a few lines, with what he said or did? A year or a place helps. I may not use every story, and I will check with you before I tell yours. Thank you.
The message says why you are asking, what you want, and that you will check before you use it. That last line is a courtesy, and it also sets up the step in choosing, where you ask permission.
The material sheet
Use the material sheet to keep what you gather in one place. Each row has a story, detail or fact; who told you; who you checked it with; a use (keep, maybe or cut); and a note.
| Column | What goes in it | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Story, detail or fact | One line, in your words | "Fixed the neighborhood kids' bikes on the porch every Saturday" |
| Who told me | The person, so you can ask again | "Kofi" |
| Checked with | Who confirmed it, especially for a fact, or for a story about someone alive | "Mom, for the years" |
| Use | Keep, maybe or cut | "Keep" |
| Notes | What to ask, what to change | "Ask whether to name the neighbor" |
Do not edit while you gather. Put everything on the sheet first, including stories you think you will cut. A story you drop in the first minute is often the one you wanted at the end.
Choosing what to keep and what to cut
Now compare the stories to the main point. Keep the ones that show it, and cut or park the ones that do not. Hamilton's advice on shortening a speech is to cut any point that does not serve the focus, and says that one direct example often beats a long list (Shortening a Speech). Convention The number depends on your slot: for two minutes, one story and a line or two of framing is a reasonable plan, and for a tribute of three to five minutes, two stories. Shaping a short talk turns your slot into a word budget, and you choose against that.
Three cuts apply to almost any talk about a person.
- What is private. Health, money, family disputes and anything the person has not made public. If you are unsure whether the person would want the room to hear it, ask them, or the family.
- What only a few people understand. The Oklahoma State University open textbook advises avoiding inside jokes in a toast, because toasts are public (Types of Special Occasion Speeches). A joke three people laugh at, and eleven wonder about, spends your time on the three. Convention
- What embarrasses the person. Emily Post's guidance on wedding toasts is to keep jokes light and clean, and to avoid personal stories that might embarrass the couple (Vermont Vows: The Toast!). Giving a toast covers teasing and its limits. Convention
Ask a second question of each story you keep: could the person it concerns hear this told, in this room, and be glad? You may not know. When you are not sure, ask them if they are alive and willing, or the family if they are not.
The material sheet holds what other people told you. A story's accuracy is settled by the person it is about, or by the family, not by the sheet. A story told in a toast or a eulogy may be heard by people it concerns, so when you are unsure, ask the person it is about, or the family. We do not say what is fair to tell about someone: that is a judgment for you and the people closest to them, and customs differ between families and communities.
Audience analysis for a work talk. The three kinds of audience analysis (demographic, psychographic and situational) are described in Three Types of Audience Analysis. For a presentation to coworkers, demographic analysis might mean their roles, psychographic might mean what they want from the project, and situational might mean the meeting room and how much time they have. Use the three questions when your choice of material depends on what the group already knows. For a party toast, Saying yes already turns them into a few plain questions.
The CDC index as a second test. The score sheet's first two items ask for one main message statement and for it to come first. Its other items cover numbers, such as using whole numbers, explaining what a number means and keeping the same denominator. The sheet was written for health materials, so applying it to a talk is an inference. Used lightly, it is a useful checklist: after drafting, ask whether a listener could say your one thing, and whether it came before the details.
Checking facts, titles and how someone wants to be addressed
An error in a name, a date or a title is the one a room remembers. Agnes Scott College's guide for introducing a speaker says to pronounce the name correctly and make sure every fact is accurate (How to Introduce a Speaker). Convention The guide is about introductions; the check applies to any talk with people, places and years in it.
Make a list of every fact you will say: ages, years, places, job titles, the order of events, the number of grandchildren, the name of a restaurant. Beside each, write where you got it and who can confirm it. A date from memory is a guess. A date from a program, a card or a family member who was there is a source. Mark each fact "checked" when you have confirmed it, and cut or soften the ones you cannot ("in the late nineties" for "in 1997").
Titles and forms of address are facts too. Whatcom Community College's open textbook advises asking the speaker for a bio and the talk title, and asking what they want to be called, such as Dr., Professor, Mr. or Ms. (Introducing a Speaker, Whatcom Community College). Convention The same applies to anyone you name in a toast: your uncle may be "Dan" to you and "Daniel" on the card. For a person who is the subject of your talk, ask what they or their family would call them. In a funeral, names can carry weight; the Remembering A Life guide includes a case of an officiant who had not met the deceased and used the wrong name throughout a five-minute eulogy (How to Write and Deliver a Eulogy). It is one example, and it shows the cost.
When a fact is in doubt, say what you know and name the source: "my mother tells me it was the summer of 1983." That keeps you honest and takes no extra time.
Names: say them the way their owners do
A name is the most personal fact in a talk. The person who owns it knows how it is said, and nobody else does. The rule that follows is short: ask the person, write down what they say, and confirm again on the day. Toastmaster magazine's emcee checklist gives the same sequence: find the correct name, including middle initial or hyphenation, and its pronunciation well in advance; write it out phonetically; practice it aloud; and confirm with the person on the day (When You Are the Emcee). Convention The article is one practitioner's method, and it matches the other sources here.
Write it so you can read it aloud
A respelling is a name written the way it sounds, in ordinary letters, so that you can read it aloud without knowing the original spelling. The Missouri University of Science and Technology's commencement office gives a method that works well for a talk: write the name with all caps for the syllables that get stress, and spaces between syllables; add what not to say ("PED-er-son, not PEET-er-son"); give a rhyme where one exists; say whether a final vowel is sounded; include first and middle names; and record yourself saying it (Name Pronunciation for Commencement). Convention Our names sheet has a column for the respelling, a check box for "confirmed with the person," and a column for the title or form of address.
The University of Wisconsin-Madison's commencement works the other way, and its approach shows the principle: graduates give their own phonetic pronunciation, and each name reader gets it from the graduate (Reading Graduate Names). The person named supplies the pronunciation; nobody guesses from the spelling. For a public figure, the Library of Congress's National Library Service publishes a pronunciation guide to the names of public figures, with a respelling key; it does not help with private individuals, so ask them (Say How?).
Confirm again on the day
A name checked three weeks ago can slip. Confirm again with the person on the day, or the evening before, in a quick message: "Is it still shi-VAWN?" Doing it twice is not rude; the emcee checklist advises it. If you cannot reach the person, say the name the way you were told, and if you slip, say it again correctly and move on. A short, calm correction does less damage than a long apology.
When a talk names several people, such as a eulogy that thanks the staff, or a toast that names a dozen cousins, put each name on the sheet before you write the talk. Start with the names you are unsure of. Read the list aloud once. A name you cannot say comfortably is better changed ("the whole Okafor family" for a list) than risked.
See it: Amara's five stories and Howard's guest See it
Amara Osei (she/her) is 47 and fictional, as is every person and detail here. Her mother has asked her to speak at the funeral of her father, Kwame Osei (he/him), who was 78. Amara's brother Kofi Osei (he/him) will be her backup reader. A funeral Mass at the family's parish is planned, followed by a reception, with four people asked to speak. All details are invented for this manual.
Her one-sentence main point. "My father fixed things for other people and did not wait to be asked."
Five stories on the material sheet (all invented). (1) He repaired the neighborhood kids' bicycles on the porch every Saturday; told by Kofi. (2) He taught Amara to drive in a church parking lot and stayed calm; Amara's own memory. (3) He sat in the same pew for forty years, told by Amara's mother. (4) A road trip where he got lost for two hours and refused to ask for directions; told by an uncle. (5) A story about his temper in an argument with a neighbor; told by a cousin.
Choosing. She keeps the bicycles and the driving lesson, because both show the main point. She parks the pew story: it is true but about habit, not helping. She cuts the road trip: a joke that tells well among the uncles but needs a long setup for the others. She cuts the argument with the neighbor, because it is private and would embarrass the family, and she does not need it to show the point. Five gathered, two chosen.
Known: the one-sentence point, which stories came from whom, and the cuts. Assumed (Amara's): that Kofi's bicycle story is accurate as he told it, and that the neighbor in it would not mind being named. Open: whether she may name the neighbor, settled by the neighbor or by Amara's mother; the years of the driving lesson, settled by Amara's mother; and what the parish allows at the Mass, settled by the pastor and covered in Tributes and eulogies.
Howard Lin (he/him), 63, is the new president of the fictional Maple Street Garden Club. A county extension horticulturist will give a 20-minute talk on pruning at the club's meeting. Her name here, Dr. Siobhan Tierney (she/her), is invented for the example, as is her reply.
The names sheet row. Name as written: Dr. Siobhan Tierney. How to say it: shi-VAWN TEER-nee, with the stress on the second syllable of the first name and the first of the second; not "see-OH-bahn." Checked with the person: yes, by her reply to Howard's email. Title: "Dr. Tierney" for the introduction, and "Siobhan" in conversation, in her words.
Known: her email reply gives the respelling and the title. Assumed (Howard's): the respelling in her message means the same stress he hears when he says it aloud. Open: whether she would like a shorter introduction than the one he drafted, settled by her reply; and whether the pronunciation holds when he says it to a room, settled by confirming with her at the door before the meeting. Introducing a speaker covers the rest of the introduction.
- Shortening a Speech: Hamilton College's one-sentence test and how to cut to a time limit.
- How to Write and Deliver a Eulogy: gathering stories from family and friends, and a cautionary case about a wrong name.
- Name Pronunciation for Commencement: how one university asks for a respelling with stress in capitals.
- Say How?: the Library of Congress guide to public figures' names, with a respelling key.
Practice: find the point and check the names Practice
Minimum: the four steps from Start here, on the plan and material sheets. Time: about 30 minutes to write and sort, plus waiting for replies; about an hour with messages to three people. Materials: the plan sheet, the material sheet, and a way to reach the people involved.
- Write the main point. One sentence. Read it aloud. If you used "and" to join two ideas, pick one.
- Send a message to two or three people. Ask for a moment, a detail or a phrase. Say you will check before you use their story.
- Put everything on the material sheet. One row each, with who told you. Do not cut yet.
- Mark each row keep, maybe or cut. Test each against the main point, then against the three cuts: private, inside, embarrassing.
- Ask about any story that concerns a living person. Write who you asked in the "checked with" column.
- List the facts you will say. Next to each, write where you got it. Mark it checked, or soften it.
- List every name you will say. Ask each person how they say it, and how they want to be addressed. Write the respelling with the stressed syllable in capitals.
- Say each name aloud twice. Mark any you stumble on, and ask again.
A program with many names. If you will read a long list of names, such as a graduation, an award program or a memorial list, copy the commencement method: collect each person's own respelling in advance, put the list in the order you will read it, and give a second copy to a backup reader. The Wisconsin approach of having each person supply their own pronunciation scales better than guessing. Rehearse the list aloud, and mark each name you slow down for.
Your talk Your talk
Check your work Check your work
Criteria
- Is the main point one sentence, and could a listener repeat it?
- Is it a point, not a topic?
- Does the material sheet say who told you each story or detail?
- Does each story you kept show the main point?
- Have you cut what is private, what only a few would understand and what would embarrass the person?
- Has a living person, or the family, been asked about any story that concerns them?
- Is every fact you will say marked checked, or softened?
- Does the names sheet have every name, its respelling, and the person's own confirmation?
Worked example
Amara's point is one sentence and it is a point, not a topic: her father fixed things for other people and did not wait to be asked. Five stories came with names beside each. She kept two that show it and cut three for stated reasons. Her open facts each name a person who settles them: the neighbor or her mother, for the name; her mother, for the years; the pastor, for the service. Howard's names row has a respelling with stress in capitals, a "not" note, and a confirmation from the speaker herself. Both pass. What neither does is decide how the stories sound aloud or how long they run; Shaping a short talk does.
Common mistakes
- A topic in place of a point. "Dad's life" is hard to agree with. "Dad fixed things for others" can.
- Keeping every story. Each extra story costs time and dilutes the point. Park the rest.
- An inside joke. If most of the room would need it explained, it spends their time on a few.
- Telling a story without asking. A story about a living person, or one the family might not know, is for that person to approve.
- A date or a title from memory. Check it, or soften it.
- Guessing a name from its spelling. Ask the person, and ask again on the day.
- A respelling you cannot read aloud. If you stumble on it in rehearsal, rewrite it in plainer syllables.
What is still unresolved
The sheets record what people told you. They do not decide what is fair to say about someone, and they do not settle a story's accuracy: the person it is about, or the family, does. They do not settle what a service, a host or a venue allows either. For length and structure, go to Shaping a short talk. For stories in a eulogy, go to Tributes and eulogies. For a speaker's introduction, go to Introducing a speaker.