Reference
Occasions: what the conventions say
One row per convention for toasts, introductions, eulogies and tributes, with the length it states, who says it and where. Filter by occasion. Every row is a convention, not a rule.
Each row is one source's convention: what an etiquette institution, a funeral association, a college speaking center or a diocese says about an occasion, and the length it names. The table does not average them, and it does not say which is right for you. Where a source states no length, the cell says "ask": ask the person who invited you. Chapters explain how to use the rows: Giving a toast, Introducing a speaker, Tributes and eulogies and Running a meeting.
Limits
These are conventions, not rules. A length a source states is that source's advice for its own readers, and sources disagree: the shortest eulogy range here is two or three minutes and the longest is ten. Practice also differs by country, by diocese and by group. The organizer's number, and for a funeral the officiant's rules, replace anything in this table.
Toasts and wedding speeches
| Occasion | What the convention says | Length it states | Source | Country |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Toast at a dinner party | The host has the first toast. Toasts come once drinks are served, at the start of the meal or just before dessert. The toaster stands, or raises a glass at a small informal event, and asks for attention. The honoree stays seated and does not drink to themselves, then may thank the toaster. Keep it short, positive and clean; stories that might embarrass the honoree are off-limits. | None stated: ask | Emily Post Institute: All About Toasting (etiquette institution) | US |
| Wedding reception toast, US order | The best man traditionally gives the first toast. At a sit-down dinner it comes as soon as everyone is seated; at a cocktail reception, after the couple arrives. It comes once guests have champagne or a nonalcoholic alternative, and it may be the only toast. Prepare ahead, keep jokes light and clean, and avoid personal stories that might embarrass the couple. | One to two minutes, three at most | Emily Post Institute: wedding dinner toasts (etiquette institution) | US |
| Engagement party and rehearsal dinner toasts | Engagement party: the bride's father toasts first, about midway through, then the groom's father, friends and family, and the couple toast their hosts. Rehearsal dinner: the host, usually the groom's father, toasts first during the main course, and a return toast often follows. This source allows more tales and jokes at the rehearsal dinner than at the reception, if they are light-hearted and in good taste. | None stated: ask | Emily Post Institute: wedding dinner toasts (etiquette institution); Emily Post Institute: The Rehearsal Dinner (etiquette institution) | US |
| The groom's toast | The best man leads off at the reception. The groom may toast any time after, usually after both sets of parents. Notes are fine and practicing out loud is advised. Stand and take the microphone if there is one; partners take turns. Thank the guests and both sets of parents, and tell no embarrassing stories. | Short; no number: ask | Emily Post Institute: The Groom's Toast (etiquette institution) | US |
| Best man's speech, UK order | Order: the bride's father, then the groom, then the best man, whose speech is traditionally the high point at the end. Avoid notes if at all possible, unless very confident. Pronounce the names on messages from absent guests correctly. A flicker of embarrassment is traditional; off-colour jokes are not. Do not drink much beforehand. | No more than five minutes | Debrett's: The best man's speech (British etiquette institution) | UK |
| When the speeches fall at a British reception | The tradition is to hold all the speeches after the meal, and this source advises against splitting them between courses. Compare the US convention of the first toast at the start of a seated dinner. | None stated: ask | Debrett's: Your Wedding Etiquette Dilemmas (British etiquette institution) | UK |
| A toast, from a speech textbook | A toast congratulates, appreciates or remembers. Keep it brief, look at the person toasted and avoid inside jokes, because a toast is public. Close with a line that invites the glass to be raised, then lift your own. | Brief; no number: ask | Oklahoma State University Libraries: Types of Special Occasion Speeches (open textbook) | US |
| What to drink: any drink | Alcohol is not needed to propose or drink to a toast. An etiquette columnist says tradition technically discourages toasting with water, but that correcting someone else's manners is ruder, and that at work it is foolish to draw attention to someone not drinking alcohol. | None stated: ask | Emily Post Institute: All About Toasting (etiquette institution); Miss Manners column, The Spokesman-Review, 31 December 2025 (etiquette column) | US |
| What to drink: the strict view | A radio food host's etiquette column says to toast with anything but water, even an empty glass, because water is unlucky, and not to drink to yourself. | None stated: ask | The Splendid Table: The etiquette of toasting, 2014 (public radio food program) | US |
Introductions and awards
| Occasion | What the convention says | Length it states | Source | Country |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Introducing a speaker: about a minute | How much background to give depends on how well the audience knows the speaker. Pronounce the name correctly and check every fact. End with a handover line that welcomes the speaker. | About a minute | Agnes Scott College: How to Introduce a Speaker (college speaking center) | US |
| An introduction as a mini-speech | A complete mini-speech with an opening, a body and a close, covering the topic, the speaker's credibility and why the audience should care. Close by welcoming the speaker, then applaud or shake hands to hand over. | Under two minutes | Oklahoma State University Libraries: Types of Special Occasion Speeches (open textbook) | US |
| An introduction in a business-writing textbook | Say what the speaker could not say about themselves without seeming arrogant. Avoid a laundry list of education and experience, and do not pull attention to yourself. | Typically one to three minutes; a classroom exercise sets 30 seconds and 100 words at most | University of Minnesota via CUNY Pressbooks: Introducing a Speaker (open textbook) | US |
| Ceremonial speaking: introductions and award speeches | Unless you are the main speaker, a short speech is enough. Do not give the speaker's talk in your introduction. Do not go beyond the facts: overblown praise costs the speaker credibility. | Two to four minutes | University of Puget Sound: Ceremonial Speaking (university speaking center) | US |
| An introduction scaled to the speech | Make the introduction about 15% of the speech. Outside the club, the speaker should ask to write their own introduction and give it to the introducer well ahead, and the introducer practices it like a speech. | About 15% of the speech (45 seconds for a five-minute speech) | Toastmaster magazine, July 2023: Step Up Your Speaker Introductions (association magazine) | US (international association) |
| The emcee's introductions | Each introduction is only a few sentences, written out and read, with no ad-libbed jokes. Confirm names and pronunciation well ahead and again on the day. Keep a minute-by-minute schedule on the lectern, build in slack and know what you can cut. Do not leave the stage empty between items. | A few sentences each | Toastmaster magazine, October 2015: When You Are the Emcee (association magazine) | US (international association) |
| Scripts, bios and time cards at an event | Circulate the master script a week ahead, confirm pronunciations with phonetic spellings and give introducers the bios at least a week ahead. Time cards for a speaker read 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 1 minute and last question. | No length; time cards at 10, 5 and 1 minute | Oregon State University: Tips for Presentations and Speakers (university events office) | US |
| Presenting an award | A presentation of an award can run from one sentence to five minutes. Ask how long it should be. | One sentence to five minutes | Oklahoma State University Libraries: Types of Special Occasion Speeches (open textbook) | US |
| Accepting an award | Thank the givers, thank the people who helped and put the honor in perspective. Be gracious and short. | Short; no number: ask | Oklahoma State University Libraries: Types of Special Occasion Speeches (open textbook) | US |
Eulogies and tributes
What a funeral service allows is for the officiant to decide. The Catholic rows are dated examples of why to ask: they come from three dioceses or bishops, they differ from each other, and none of them is a rule for your service.
| Occasion | What the convention says | Length it states | Source | Country |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Eulogy: shorter as more people speak | Ask the family what to mention or leave out, and ask the other speakers what they will cover. Focus on the person's best qualities. Print in extra-large type. If you choke up, pause to breathe and go on. | Two minutes at the least, eight to ten at the most; shorter as more people speak | Emily Post Institute: Giving a Eulogy (etiquette institution) | US |
| Eulogy: length by number of speakers | Open with who you are and who asked you to speak, then stories that show character, then consolation. Notes are fine. It is acceptable to cry. | Two to five minutes if you are not the only speaker; seven to ten if you are | Remembering A Life (National Funeral Directors Association): How to Write and Deliver a Eulogy (funeral directors' association site) | US |
| Eulogy: a UK funeral directors' guide | A timed structure: opening, life story, character and stories, legacy, closing. Print at 14-point or larger, double spaced, and practice aloud three or four times. Ask a trusted friend to be ready to finish reading. It recommends a full script and says to check the length with the funeral director or celebrant. Written for UK services. | Five to ten minutes, about 700 to 1,200 words | National Association of Funeral Directors (UK): How to Write a Eulogy, 2026 (funeral directors' association) | UK |
| Eulogy: a hospice chaplaincy guide | Offer snapshots, not a summary of the whole life; choose two or three stories. Write it out but do not read it word for word. A preselected person can take your script and finish if you cannot. Leave theological reflection to the minister. | Five to ten minutes; ten is about all | NorthShore University HealthSystem hospice: How to write a eulogy (hospice newsletter) | US |
| Tributes, including eulogies: ceremonial speaking | Unless you are the main speaker, a short speech is enough. Stay within the facts. | Two to four minutes | University of Puget Sound: Ceremonial Speaking (university speaking center) | US |
| Humor and manners at a service | If a eulogy has humor, it is fine to laugh, though not raucously. A eulogy may also be given at a graveside service. | None stated: ask | Emily Post Institute: Funeral Etiquette: At the Service (etiquette institution) | US |
| Catholic funeral Mass: Archdiocese of Boston | Words of remembrance, not a eulogy as such. One family member or friend only, who writes the words down and gives the script to the priest beforehand. Eulogies and stories fit the vigil at the funeral home or the committal at the cemetery. Issued 2014 on a page with a 2024 copyright; whether it is current is not confirmed, so ask the parish. | No more than five minutes | Archdiocese of Boston: Guidelines for Homilies and Words of Remembrance (Catholic archdiocesan guidance) | US |
| Catholic funeral Mass: Diocese of Erie, Pennsylvania | Words of remembrance come before the final commendation. One speaker only at the Funeral Mass. The words are composed beforehand and shown to the presiding minister for content and length. The diocese says the vigil or the end of the committal suits longer remarks better. In force since 2004; whether it is current is not confirmed, so ask the diocese. | About three to five minutes | Diocese of Erie: Policy on Words of Remembrance at Funerals (Catholic diocesan policy) | US |
| Catholic funeral Mass: Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend, Indiana | Words of remembrance, not a eulogy; one speaker at the funeral Mass. Written out and read, and may be reviewed with the priest beforehand. Nothing crude or profane. Dated November 2010; whether it is current is not confirmed. | Two or three minutes, about one double-spaced page | Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend: Guidance for Words of Remembrance, November 2010 (Catholic diocesan guidance) | US |
| Catholic funeral liturgy: Fort Wayne-South Bend policy | The policy says there is to be no eulogy within the liturgy; words of remembrance are a brief reflection set in the person's faith. Preferred places for longer remarks: the funeral home, the vigil, the farewell at the cemetery, or the meal afterward. Dated November 2010; whether it is current is not confirmed. | Brief; see the guidance row above | Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend: Policy for Speaking in Remembrance, November 2010 (Catholic diocesan policy) | US |
| Catholic funeral Mass: a Canadian bishop's reflection | The Canadian ritual says a brief homily is given but there is never to be a eulogy. The bishop's own view is that words of remembrance do not belong in the Mass and that the vigil or a later gathering is the approved place. This is one bishop's reflection (2006), not a conference-wide rule. | None stated: ask | Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops: Funeral Eulogies, a pastoral reflection, 2006 (one bishop's reflection) | Canada |
| Why parishes differ | A liturgist writes that the rubric allowing a speaker is among the most contested in the funeral liturgy: some pastors allow one and others refuse. He says remarks of 20 minutes or more are the reason limits exist. | None stated; the pastor decides: ask | The Priest magazine: The Place of a Eulogy at a Catholic Funeral, 2023 (liturgist's article) | US |
Meetings
| Occasion | What the convention says | Length it states | Source | Country |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Planning the agenda | List the time planned for each item and who presents it. Send the agenda at least a week ahead. Start and end on time. Close each item by saying the conclusion aloud. | Set by the group: ask | University of Kansas Community Tool Box: Conducting Effective Meetings (university extension toolkit) | US |
| What an agenda holds | Date, time and place; the main purpose; each item with who presents it and its time; the next meeting. Members can be asked to send items at least two days before. Add stretch breaks to meetings that run over an hour. | A time per item; a break after an hour | Ohio State University Extension: Effective Coalition Meetings, 2014 (university extension fact sheet) | US |
| Sending the notes | The recorder writes down only decisions and follow-up responsibilities, confirms each decision with the group and sends the notes within 72 hours. | Notes out within 72 hours | UNC Chapel Hill Center for Faculty Excellence: Facilitator, Recorder, and Timekeeper Roles (university teaching center) | US |